I am not an individual; I am an integral part of the cosmos.
I share divinity with my ancestors, the land, the sea and the skies.
I am not an individual because I share a tofi (my inheritance) with my family, my village and my nation.
I belong to my family and my family belongs to me.
I belong to my village and my village belongs to me.
I belong to my nation and my nation belongs to me.
This is the essence of my belonging.
These are the words of Tui Atua Tupua Tamasese Taisi Efi, former Head of State of the then Western Samoa and when I read this quote I was immediately drawn to it.
The words challenge us all to think collectively and act collaboratively and when I think about the many challenges we face as family, as a village and as a nation family violence is at the forefront of my thoughts.
I believe it is up to all of us to make a stand – men and women, children and elders and to unite in the message that violence is not to be tolerated or normalised in our lives.
And while I praise the work of those dedicated champions in our communities who do such a good job and need support we must all do more.
I have a very firm view that resources need to be in the frontline and for some time I have been concerned that this work is under-resourced.
I visited the Family Violence courts out at Porirua late last year and I was really humbled by the amazing work they do. The expectation is that all agencies will come together to focus on the potential of families.
If I have any criticism, it would be when people appear to come through a revolving door in which they are referred to agencies without necessarily being driven by the issues and priorities of the family first.
There is nothing more frustrating than a barrage of rules and accreditation getting in the way when sometimes what is most needed is loving arms and a caring voice or the direct challenges that other family members are better able to deliver within a cultural context.
Providers need to be honest about who they are providing services for and what services they are providing. Does it address the ongoing abuse and violence that family members are being subjected too?
If Providers are to confront the issues then they need to be brave enough to try innovative ideas much like we are asking families too.
We know that there are many issues and social determinants that contribute to family violence so a family focused approach is important as most women subjected to violence and abuse often stay or go back to that environment.
I have never really been an advocate for interventions which single out perpetrators from victims, or separate men from women, or children from adults.
I truly believe in our collective strength as families and creating an environment in which happy, healthy relationships are valued.